“How-tos” of anal sex
Sweetsubsarahh wrote an amazing article on the “how-tos” of anal sex, and in this writing, I am urging anyone that has not read it, to go there right now and get all the pointers you will ever need to have on the delicate act of anal penetration. Not only does she cover sanitation, but she explains the best way to prepare for it physically, and anyone that follows these guidelines is bound to have a wonderful first time, and many more to follow.
I open with that statement because my essay on anal sex is coming from a different angle. The “how-to” is already there for anyone in need of educating. This anal sex essay is a more subjective, persuasive view on the subject.
There are many women out there that are automatically disgusted by the idea of anal sex. After all, there is a perfectly good entrance only inches away that is less dirty, and penetrating it is a lot simpler in every aspect. I used to be one of those women, and for the first five years of marriage, any suggestion of anal sex was met with such comments as, “Not even on a bet,” or “That’s an exit, buddy.”
There was a woman that recently emailed me regarding one of my stories where women engaged in intense anal play that insisted I must be a man, because women are incapable of enjoying anal stimulation. Why? Because we are not equipped with a prostate gland. Ah, but we are all equipped with a huge clustering of nerve endings that can bring exquisite pleasure or horrific pain, depending on how your partner treats your anal area. Yes, women do enjoy anal stimulation if it’s done just right. It’s hard not to enjoy it!
I can’t say that anal sex is something I do, or would want to do every time I had sex. When everything is in place, from mood to stimulation, to sanitation, I will not turn it down, but there are a few other factors involved too that turn me on or off of it.
Stimulation is key. For me to enjoy anal sex, I have to be so stimulated that my hundred pound self could go through a wall to get to what’s going to satisfy me. Anything less than that will turn it into more a chore than a mutual pleasure, where every stroke makes me wonder if I am being screwed or gutted like a deer. We all know that there are different levels of horny, and we all respond to new things differently on those different levels. Find the level of stimulation that would make the idea of anal penetration acceptable, and never have anal sex unless you are at that level.
If you are having a quickie before work, you can still enjoy it while thinking that you have to be up and getting ready for work in a half hour. If you are having anal sex, you cannot even think of the most mundane responsibility, because anything pending will make many people tense right up. I am a tense little Poodle, so if I am going to have an anal encounter, the last thing on my mind is the checkbook that needs balancing, the jackass that cut me off in traffic, or the dogs needing baths. Then again, I have a friend that says she can relax all her anal muscles on cue, no matter where she is or what she is doing, if she only thinks about anal sex long enough. I envy her that!
Porn stars preparing for an anal scene have the aesthetics to consider. To prepare for an anal scene, they basically go on a clear liquid diet for two days prior. They even use enemas during this time to make sure that when their co-star’s member slides out, it’s not covered in crap. We normal women tend to be more spontaneous, so this is not a realistic thing for us to do. And why should we want to? Aside from the killjoy of planning, preparing ourselves as though we were going in for a colonoscopy is hardly appealing. Accept the fact that it’s not always going to come out clean, even if you are freshly showered. Make sure your mate knows that when he gets this prize, it may not always look like it does on TV. Make sure that he cleans it up. More than likely, it was his idea, right?
On that same note, I don’t recommend anal sex after a seven course meal at your local Mexican restaurant. That holds the potential for embarrassment, but it also holds the potential for discomfort, or even pain. I learned this one the hard way. While visiting my folks, my aunt prepared a home cooked, Southern meal with all the trimmings, and later, an attempt at anal sex ended abruptly when I informed my husband that I wasn’t sure if I was going to poop myself or if I was going to choke on the country fried steak I swore he was pushing back up with each thrust.
Anal sex is not something that everyone is going to enjoy. Sex is an overall subjective matter, and what works for one person isn’t going to work for everyone else. Women shy from anal sex because they are told very often that this is wrong or somehow deviant. They shy from it because it just seems stupid, when again, there is another hole right there for the taking. But ladies, reconsider.
Anal sex is beautiful
I say this because sex is beautiful. Whatever your preferences you should never fear trying what you haven’t tried before, so long as it is between consenting adults and isn’t going to hurt anyone on a physical or emotional level. For five years, I was too fearful of anal sex, and almost missed out on a whole new manner in which to pleasure and be pleasured. No, I am not some anal insertion queen, and there are times I just can’t get into it, or rather, he can’t get into me (remember, I am a tense little Poodle), but I have had amazing experiences when I was able, and I would have missed out on those experiences if I had allowed my fear to win out.
Obviously, if your negative experiences with anal penetration involve something traumatic like rape or abuse, I will not sit here and try to convince you that you have to get over it. That’s another story altogether, and one that I am not qualified to help a person with. A negative experience in all other cases can turn anyone off, which is understandable. Not everyone likes conventional sex the first time, but just about everyone will try it again, though, and armed with that attitude, you can probably learn from the time(s) before and make the next attempt a positive experience. But you have to be open to trying for that to happen. You have to know that you are as capable of getting something out of it just as your partner is.
Ultimately, whatever your preference, fantasy, or particular fetish, when it is all broken down, good sex is about being uninhibited. When you shed inhibition, you gain great sex in return. Strip away particulars, and that is what you are left with. The rest is all…er…filler.